I dropped my baby.

I know dropping a baby sounds horrible. And believe me, the second I knew my baby was falling from my arm I felt like the worst parent on earth.

I dropped my baby.

I wasn’t new to this whole “taking care of kids” thing. In fact I was a full-time live out nanny who was able to take her baby with her to work! I grew up taking care of kids, it’s basically what my whole life was.

I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

She was only a couple months old and I was rushing out the door. The way I was holding her was not my normal way and something told me to put her down, but I had too much stuff to grab and decided to just get everything and leave.

As I was walking over to her crib to grab something out of it she leaned forward (I’m guessing maybe she thought I was going to put her in?) and I tried to lean back to stop her from falling but she slipped out of my arms and out she went.

She just fell from my arm. 

Her head hit the crib rail, her body slid down the crib and her head his the bottom of the crib leg, which is where she stopped moving.

Panic set in, I screamed from the second I felt her leave my arm until I picked her up. Life felt like it went in slow motion and the fear in my heart was strong.

I thought I killed her. She was quiet, not moving or anything.

Now I’m crying and instantly picked her up. As I turned her to see her face I could tell she was in fact alive and crying. The silent cry, oh the silent cry. She was mad-sad and all I could do was hold her.

I never thought it would happen to me. 

The great thing about young kids is, they kind of bounce back from situations like this rather quickly. Even though I felt awful she was happy within five minutes with only a bump on her head to show off my accident.

Little did I know that was just a SMALL fraction of what my kids would deal with growing up. 10 years and four kids later, we have had many ER trips, cuts, bruises, accidents, etc. I can’t even tell you ow many times I felt like the worst mom alive, but the good news is my kids are strong little monsters.

Be prepared, be prepared for the feelings, the accidents, the ER trips. And know this is all part of parenting.